Do you *really* enjoy living with your in-laws? Do you *really* enjoy homeschooling?
I have this conversation all the time. And in telling people that I truly enjoy these things, I tend to feel like I’m misrepresenting myself as some sort of Mother Theresa or my home and children as being always well-organised and under control. Must homeschooling be easy-breezy, flowers-in-my-hair, and perfect-children-who-always-listen-first-time to be “enjoyable”?
Enjoy (verb): take delight or pleasure in (an activity or occasion).
The truth is that enjoyment is something that we can choose. We can take delight. We can deliberately lay hold of it. We can take an attitude of enjoyment into our home, our relationships, and our activities. I don’t mean that my life is always easy or that I’m never frustrated or that there are no problems to solve. I don’t always feel like I know what I’m doing, and I often end the day painfully aware of all of the ways that I fell short.
I also don’t mean that I enjoyed having the overtired baby in the carrier pulling my hair while I cooked dinner this evening.
BUT there was so much joy there too. Some things may not be enjoyable, but they do not have to steal your joy either. Joy is not something that comes and goes with the pleasantness of any given situation, but it is from the Lord himself.
Galatians 5:22-24 says: But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.
God does not abandon us in hardship, nor do we lose our ability to access the fruit that He produces in us. I think we forget that joy is as much of a virtue as the others in that list, and by the power of the Holy Spirit, we can be a living example of joy in hardship, as much as we can be an example of the more stately virtues like peace and patience. I also think we forget that any hardship counts (even the baby pulling my hair), and God is with me there, and He gives me the grace to take joy (Preaching to myself now). This is wonderful habit training for the not-so-trivial hardships that we may face in the future.
James 1:2-4 says: Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
Guess what? Joy and hardship aren’t mutually exclusive. It’s okay, totally normal, and even healthy, to find some good things hard.
This isn’t a slap on a smile and fake-it-till-you-make-it pep talk, but hopefully it encourages you that hardship can be endured with your joy intact, and you’ll be growing nearer to God every time you do it.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 says: “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”
Here are a few ways I (mostly, let’s be real) maintain an attitude of enjoyment:
- Start the day with scripture and prayer. This is never aesthetic and is usually done with the children around and/or involved. The practice of remembering that God is God every morning is the important thing here.
- Flowers. They bring me so much joy. I have planted them in the garden and usually have a couple of vases of daisies and dandelions (from the children) in my kitchen.
- Music. Either cafe jazz or folk instrumentals are my favorites when the house is busy (we don’t need any more words!) and sung scripture is my go-to when I want something to sing along to. It really does help to lift my eyes.
- Smile. Habitually. At your children. At the flowers. When your husband comes home from work. Even if you don’t feel like it. It will reduce your cortisol and shift your mood and set the tone of your household.
- Keep praying and meditating on the Lord throughout the day.
So, I’ll leave you with a blessing from the Apostle Paul; Romans 15:13 says:
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.
