If you were to pop over for a visit… 

You would be met with delighted children, urging you to come inside. You’d almost trip over a mess of shoes at the front door before smelling whatever deliciousness Carolyn was cooking up that day. I’d offer you coffee and we’d sit at the table, which would be littered with pencils, school books, and artwork. Carolyn would pop out of her kitchen to say hello and collect the toddler on her way back into her living room, where they would read stories and drink tea together. 

Our home isn’t enormous, nor is it always tidy. I have dreams of being more minimalist and having stronger routines that would maintain order and beauty. But it is a wonderful, happy, peaceful home, where help and kind words are offered freely, wisdom is embraced and zeal is encouraged. There is so much grace here.

And here’s how we all fit…

The layout of our home allows my in-laws to have their own space, and we feel that we can move freely in our home. The heart of our home is the shared dining area with an open-plan kitchen. Down the hallway you’ll see our bedrooms, bathroom and living room. Through a door off the main kitchen there is a second kitchen which is primarily used by Grant and Carolyn (my in-laws), and through some large double doors off the dining area is their “house”. This space belongs to Grant and Carolyn and they can lock it from their side to maintain their quiet space when they don’t want noisy little visitors

And in the spaces we do share…

Currently, Grant and Dan both go off to work during the day, so most days Carolyn and I have have run of the house with the kids. It’s winter, so she spends her home days between her living room and the kitchens. Myself and the children spend most of our days around the dining room table, in and out of the kitchen and periodically popping in on “Grammy” (Carolyn) for short visits. 

Carloyn usually beats me to the dishes throughout the day and often sweeps under the table after a meal, makes us lunch or reads a story to an attention-starved toddler while I flesh out an especially challenging homeschool moment. She makes herself available to watch the kids if I need an appointment or need to run an errand. She even walks our dog every morning! 

Grant mops our floors and cleans our oven. He takes our dog (and often our baby) out for a bike ride in the evenings and always puts the bins out. It’s safe to say that we are usually on the receiving end of the help that’s going around. 

But we aren’t tripping over each other.

We share the belief the Jesus instructs and enables us to love and serve one another and family is the first place we practise this. We also believe that clear communication, when done tactfully, is always helpful.

Any financial agreement is always explicitly discussed. We are reminded of forgotten repayments promptly and split living costs are in writing – there are no awkward feelings or uncertainties about what to expect. If Grant and Carolyn need space or quiet, they say so, and we respect their request. If anyone has overstepped or done something wrong or if something needs to change, there is a simple, respectful conversation.

Of course, the layout of the house helps. Most evenings, Dan and I retreat to our end of the house to hang out and Grant and Carolyn spend their evenings in their own living room. We all have our own hobbies and social lives and spend lots of time outdoors. 

I can say, with absolute honesty, that we all love this way of living. It feels like it is how family was designed to be.